In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
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