so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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