yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Randomize
