I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
