I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
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