Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
