I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
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