Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize