Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
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He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
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Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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