Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
this just has baby written all over it
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
