That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
