you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
