i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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