Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
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Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
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ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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