Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
