omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
