People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Will exercising make me less horny?
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