The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
He better not be in your backpack
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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