You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
