Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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