You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
