I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
