just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize