I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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