i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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