I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
