I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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