she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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