it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
