i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
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