I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
