Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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