i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Do vagina's smell?
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize