I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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