My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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