STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
