I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
