My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
