Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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