There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
