Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
farters have to be the big spoon...
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
