There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
