I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Randomize
