he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
