This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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