My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
