Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
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