he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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