Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize