This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
