Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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