this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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