Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Randomize
