I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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