My nipple is on Facebook.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
And then my night got REAL pukey
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
