sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
