Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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