dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
