It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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