i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
